can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
