How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
