so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
