Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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