Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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