No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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