forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
