Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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