I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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