Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
