yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
