Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
