i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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