pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
