she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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