what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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