The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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