why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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