so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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