my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
