I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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