That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
