We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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