I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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