I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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