I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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