There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
