Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You took a bar mat shot.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
