I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
