This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
