Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
