remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
