If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
