Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
