dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
