mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
