I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
