her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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