Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
