her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
