Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Non-Jews are for practice
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
