Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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