Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
