Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
