God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
