garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
