It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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