kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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