I puked a lego.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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