it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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