I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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