i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Houston, we have a blender
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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