Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
